Wanted To Keep Everyone Updated.

I wanted to keep everyone updated on my progress. I now have fifty three pages of poems. I have started to sort them and keep them as I want the poems to read in the book I am writing. Love Poems, Senryu And Haiku, Mood Poems, Inspirational Poems, Nature Poems, Gay Poems. There may be more categories added, and I'm sure there will be more poems added to each of these categories I mentioned. I hope to have anywhere from 150 to 200 pages of my poetry when this book is finished. I will keep you updated on how my progress is coming along.

-MAC-

Oh How I Wish

I see a guy either around where I live or on TV, like a television personality

and I think to myself, "God, I wonder if he's gay. Or at least bisexual because

I will admit I am turned-on at looking at them. I know, I know some of them

have girlfriends or so they say, but there have been gay men and probably a few women

who have hidden behind the straight mask. Now I'm not going to name names here, that

would be rude and tacky. I will say they come in different heights, color of eyes that range

from blue to brown, hair that ranges from blond, dark blond, light brown, brown, and even

black. They are out there and rumors have flown about them being gay.

All I can do is sit here and wish you were gay or bisexual, and dream about us together

and all the lovely things we would do.


-MAC-

More Senryu And Haiku Poetry

Long silky brown hair

curvy body - beautiful eyes and face

there is no one else in this world or place.


Night sky filled with twinkling stars

some crashing asunder

oh how I love to lay here under.


-MAC-

Senryu And Haiku Poems

Senryu Poetry
______________________________

Soft beautiful eyes

delicate facial features

you show how beauty should be worn.
______________________________

Strawberry blond hair

soft brown eyes that sparkle so

muscular body to
_______________________________

Angel eyes of yours

flying on Angel wings high

why did you die why.
________________________________

Haiku Poetry
________________________________

Sky so clear and blue

only a few clouds float by

a warm summer day.
_______________________________

Leaves turning colors

reds, yellow, purple, amber

beauty never lost.
_______________________________

Foamy waves crashing

the ocean is a thrashing around

crashing onto a sandy beach.


-MAC-

Joyous Meeting

I just yesterday attended a joyous meeting of a group of us LGBT. For those of you who don't know what LGBT means it means Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transsexual. It was fun to sit around and drink coffee, or tea, pop with these people and get to know each other. I found it quite interesting and can't wait till the meeting in September.

Inspiration

Inspiration where does it come from?

Some say it's 90% labor and 10% perspiration

I know myself that it comes in many forms

whether it be just viewing my surroundings

to things I read

even video games I play have inspired the writer in me

it's hard to say and I don't know what inspires other writers

but there are so many things that inspire me.

-MAC-

Sometimes I....

Sometimes I want to sleep all the time

that's the only thing I'm good at and nothing else

sometimes I wonder why try

when no one cares why

then, again, isn't life just one big lie.

Yummy Yumm Yumm!!!

Okay I don't know what's up with one lens missing in his glasses but I overlook that when I see a muscular body like this. Yumm Yumm!!!

Yummy Yumm Yumm!!!

Nice very nice. Again nice muscles and washboard stomach. Yumm Yumm!!!

Yummy Yumm Yumm!!!

Don't know about all of you but I could wait in at the laundry mat with a young guy like this. Yumm Yumm!!!

Yummy Yumm Yumm !!!

Hairy guys are fun. Look at that hairy pit. That well trimmed beard, mustache and hair. Yumm!!!

Yummy Yumm Yumm!!!

I know he's a little old but look at those rippling muscles, and washboard stomach. It screams Yum!!!

Yummy YummYumm!!!

I don't know why but I'm so into young men. Yumm!!!

Sayings

---- If you say you love me - why do you keep going away?

                                 Mark Cutler  (Yr.2000)

I Sometimes Look At Things...

Like I'm looking through a fisheyed lens

all blurry and distant

muddled and scrambled

never making any sense

I feel like I'm looking through teary eyes

looking at things underwater

where everything is stained

strained and not refined

this is the way

I Sometimes Look At Things

-MAC-

What Would You Do? (Poem)

If I told you I love you

what would you do

would you run away

or would you stay.
*
Is falling in love so hard

I know being heartbroken is sad

I have been down that road many times

it seems that road never ends.
*
Telling one you love them

shouldn't be so hard to do

letting them feel it, hear it, see it, know it

is all up to me and you.

-MAC-

He Comes To Me In The Darkness Of My Mind (A Poem For Mark Jay Patterson) (Redux)

His name is Mark Jay Patterson

he comes to me in the darkness of my mind

where he sits and awaits me, haunts me every time

with every turn I make, and all of my every decisions.


He thinks he is in control of mine

we fight about this many times

yet he always wins

I'm not sure where I end and he begins.


I fear he is taking me over, once more

as I feel him controlling my thoughts and actions

into my brain he bores

he is such a Bastard for what he has done to me, yet I cannot control his deeds.


Oh no, here comes the pain, again

the terrible pain I associate with his being

he is like an everlasting ghost

an Almighty Being always heard, felt, but never seen.

-MAC-

It's Not Your Fault (Poem)

We said one day we would marry

that each-other we would carry

never to have doubts

everything we would work out.

          It's Not Your Fault

          It's Not Your Fault

Through life we would stay pure to one-another

and never stray to another

yet you did just that

and it hurt me, oh I was hurt by it.

          It's Not Your Fault

          It's Not Your Fault

And when we are old and gray

we will still have much to say

as we sit with our grandchildren and play

yet it never was to be that way.

          It's Not Your Fault

          It's Not Your Fault

And when we are dead

and Heaven bound

we still must hold our sacred marriage ground

and yet I will always think

         It's Not Your Fault

         It's Not Your Fault.

-MAC-

It Hurts To Let Go (Poem)

Sunny skies

playing all day

playing tags

in that father and son way.

    It Hurts To Let Go

I wish it never had to end

you were taken from me in such a way

there was nothing I could do or say

I knew it was going to end.

    It Hurts To Let Go

I feel we never had much time

it all seemed so sublime

no reason or rhyme

for why your time had come.

    It Hurts To Let Go.


For My Ten Year Old Son, Sean.  9-24-1989 to 5-11-2000.  Dead But Not Forgotten.

              MAC

Thank You All

I am at 3001 Views of my Blog, and I just want to say thank you to all of you who have been hanging with me and viewing my blog, and taking the time to read what I have written. I encourage all of you to please leave a comment. Again, Thank You.
XOXOXOXOXO, Mark

My Love (Erotic Poem)

Laying on our sides

me behind you

I bring you leg up high, and let my hand slide

that made you ready for what I was about to do

I push inside you and began to thrust

you cry out in such lust

the final act is clear

when I cum inside you, my dear.

-MAC-

First Time (Erotic Poem)

I admit the first time you went inside me

I knew there would be pain

you filled me with glee

I knew now what a cock inside me felt like and I wondered if I ever would, again

You thrust inside my hole

yes I always felt so alive, so whole

then came the best part. Your cum flooding me

it made me feel I was flying high, free.

-MAC-

Young Love (Poem)

The day I met you you were a young male

yet I hoped we would grow together

we done things that would make others blush or go pale

so many times we were linked together someway or other

we spent a lot of time doing stuff we loved

never did we not hugged

it always seemed to me. The way we were

so happy and gleeful it seemed to me.

-MAC-

The Beauty (Poem)

Long black hair flowing like

your beauty is seductive

I always thought we were alike

you always seemed so alive

I share with you my deepest thoughts

tell you about all my haunts

you hold me close to you

because this is just what you do.

-MAC-

Fourth Of July

It has come to my attention

and by that I mean I just thought of it (LOL)

our country is celebrating Independence Day this Thursday which will be July,4th.

For my followers from other countries, it is the day in 1776 when the United States

succeeded from the British. It's a big thing here in my country. Families get together 

often have cookouts, then watch fireworks like those in these two pictures. 

So we'll sit back this Thursday and celebrate our Independence. 

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY !!!!

-MAC- 

Just Not Sure

Not sure what I want to do with my life

where I want to be in the near future

what I want to be doing

whether or not I want to have someone special in my life

which I have pretty much given up on

it all seems so confusing

much too much for me to try to figure out

nothing I do seems to matter anymore

seems I'm just spinning my wheels

but am getting nowhere except deeper down a hole

I wonder if I should try

I'm Just Not Sure.

-MAC-

I Think Of You

When I look up in the sky I think of you

when I see all the stars shining bright I think of you

when I see small children at play I think of you

I think I wished you could have stayed

and not gone away so soon

everything about you is always in my thoughts

my prayers, my hopes and my dreams

I don't think I can ever stop thinking of you

I miss you so much Sean. You were my son

gone too soon in life at only ten.

Daddy will always be thinking of you, remembering you

I Love You.

Why Try (Poem)

Why try

might as well just lay down and die

there's nothing else to say

nobody cares anyway

everything seems just a lie.
*
Everything seems to fade away

Why can't I make them stay

Why do they treat me this way

There's nothing else to say.
*
Might as well just lay down and die

Why try

Nobody cares

Why do they treat me this way.



-MAC-

Why Is It So Hard

Why is it so hard to understand me

to make me feel good inside about myself

to feel loved and not rejected

the way I've felt most of my life

too many failed relationships have come and gone

no one seems to stay

they all just go away

and leave me here alone with a broken heart

Why is it so hard to understand how I feel?

Why Is It So Hard?

Angel Of Mine (A Poem)

Your hair is black and silky

your eyes a deep dark onyx

your face is one - one must never forget

and your body is soft, warm and smooth.
*
Your eyes are a deep dark onyx

I'll never forget how it felt to hold one another's nude bodies

your face is one - one must never forget

for as long as eternity.
*
Your body is both beauty and art

things I can't ever recall seeing before

I just want to hold you and never let us part

to be like this forevermore.
*
Things I can't ever recall seeing before

Your beauty brings about happiness

Making me smile every time I see you

Do you know how that really makes me feel?
*
Your beauty brings about happiness

Your hair is black and silky

To be like this forevermore

That is the way I want to spend my days my life-partner.


-MAC-

Beauty And Soul (A Poem)

With hair dark as coal silky as satin

eyes a dark brown that reflect the light

tall and nicely built

you are truly a vision of loveliness.
*
Eyes a dark brown that reflect the light

I watch you walk the halls at school

you are truly a vision of loveliness

you almost glide along effortlessly like an angel.
*
I watch you walk the halls at school

you made me love you from the first time I saw you

I wondered if maybe I wasn't just being a fool

maybe there was never anything between us two.
*
You made me love you from the first time I saw you

With a body tall and slender

Maybe there was never anything between us two

You were as soft as you were tender.
*
With a body tall and slender

With hair dark as coal silky as satin

You were as soft as you were tender

For this reason Teri I will always love and cherish you.

-MAC-

Clouds

As I lay here looking up at the clouds floating by

I can't help wondering what if anything is on them?

Are there angels that close to us, watching over us?

It really makes me wonder.

And they are of all different shapes and sizes

I will admit some actually do look a little like animals

In there own strange and unique way

So I think I will continue to lay here and watch the clouds

As they pass on by

And wonder is there really someone up there -

Perhaps even one of our guardian angels ?

Is This Love So Wrong (Poetry)

There's so much more to loving someone of your own sex

it's much more than sucking and fucking

it has to do with trust

trust and love that must be earned

the way I loved my lover -

and he loved me too

our love was built on trust and love for each other

so many times we went to bed and

lay there holding, caressing and kissing

it was always a pleasure

it meant something deep

something lasting and sincere

always without fear

about what other people thought about our love

about the fact we were two Gay males

we weren't ashamed of what we were

Is This Love So Wrong

no we don't think so.


-MAC-

(Poetry) Princess

Like a vibrant flower you bloom

hair long and red

body slender and petite

long curvy legs and dancer's feet
*
Hair long and red

Mary Jane I saw you standing before me

Body slender and petite

you looked so good to me.
*
Mary Jane I saw you standing before me in all her beauty and splendor

a statuesque beauty with grace and poise

You looked so good to me

giving me always the reason to love you
*
A statuesque beauty with grace and poise

Mary Jane stands before me in all her beauty and splendor

the likes I think I shall never again gaze upon

just looking at you makes me feel lightheaded - so in love
*
Mary Jane stands before me in all her beauty and splendor

Like a vibrant flower you bloom

Just looking at you makes me feel lightheaded - so in love

Body slender and petite.


-MAC-

Who Are You My Angel?

I never saw your face

only heard your voice through a friend

who says you are interested in me

are you like me

too shy to approach someone you really like

what a shame it seems to throw away something that could be special

for only that one reason.

Now I wonder if we will ever have the joy of meeting

of seeing if something may have happened between us

possibly a relationship that might have been

but we may never know that now

Who are you my angel?

Read Me

You say you can read me like a book

Yet you never gave me a second look

Why is that?

What is the reason for it?

Do you think you're too good for me?

Am I that far below you?

You don't know me

So how can you say those things about me

Act like I'm no good for you

Maybe you're just no good for me.

It All Reminds Me Of You

Every time I smell fresh strawberries it reminds me of smelling your hair

Each time my hands touch something smooth it reminds me of your skin.

Each time I hear the wind whispering I think of you whispering to me in our bed

Each time I see someone tall and slender it reminds me of you

Every time I see a picture in a magazine of two male lovers it reminds me of you

In short a lot has reminded me of you lately, maybe I want you back

We should sit down and talk. We owe each other that much.

-MAC-

Why Try

Why try I ask myself why.

No one likes my writing so why try

No one likes me but I don't know why

There must be a hidden reason behind their blind hatred

I never done anyone wrong

No never done anything to anyone

That would cause them to feel the way they do

Not sure what this whole world is about

Is it who they listen to that makes them think the way they do

Are they mere puppets controlled by a mad puppet master

I sit here sad and lonely

Feeling sorry for myself.

So low I feel like a heavy weight

Sometimes I feel like I should go back to the way I was in my 30s

Maybe that's what I need to start over and just let go

Feel free to fly high where no one can touch me

I'd be on golden wings because that's the way I felt then

The only thing that bothered me then was him

My evil self I try to keep hidden deep inside me

Tried never to let him out

Yet I wonder if I'd be happier living the way I did then

High as a bird in flight.

Yes - Yes soaring across the sky

That would be me never afraid to die.

-MAC-

The A-Z's Of Sex

A - Asshole, Anal Sex

B - Blissful, Balls Sucking

C - Cock, Cum, Cocksucking

D - Doggie Style 

E - Ejaculation

F - Fucking, Fetishes 

G - Groping

H - Horny, Hand-Job

I - In Love 

J - Jacking -Off, Jizz

K - Kinky, Kissing

L - Loving.

M - Masturbation

N - Nude. 

O - Oral and Orgasm

P - Pinching, Piercing, Panties, Penis

Q - Queer, Quickie

R - Rimming, Rush

S - Stripping, Sucking, Sixty-Nine  Spooning, Slurping.

T - Threesome, Throating, Tea-Bagging. (See Balls Sucking It Means The Same Thing. LOL)

U - Underwear

V - Very Feminine

Y - Yank it

Z - Zesty Sex, Zip it up  :)

I Would Like To Take A Moment

First I want to thank all of you people for viewing my blog. I would like to encourage everyone to leave a comment, suggestions on how I can change things or if something is confusing how is it confusing. This will only make my writing stronger.

Thank You - MAC

Why Am I Here?

I often wonder that each day

then every night when I go to bed

I lay there and before falling asleep

I pray I will fall asleep and never awaken

eternal peace with

no worries, no more pain

no more hatred from people who claim they fucking care when they don't give a damn!

yet I still awaken and trudge through another day

trying to find my way, make my way through all the bullshit that is called life

what is wrong with me that I can't find someone to love

am I so fucking flawed that I'm unlovable?

you know people beauty is only skin deep

take a look in the mirror sometime

you're not perfect either!

so I lay in my bed and I wonder why am I here?

Copyright

All fiction, poetry and other works on this blog is Copyright by Mark Cutler.

Torture Scenes From "Asylum City" A Mark Jay Patterson Novel

This is a scene from the novel I am working on called "Asylum City". In this scene my protagonist, Narcotics Detective Mark Jay Patterson is brought to my antagonist, Jonathan Lawrence Dramon, a drug smuggler. In this is one scene where Dramon tortures Patterson. Enjoy and feel free to leave comments.


Sensory Deprivation Tank

     Patterson was brought into the large back room of the warehouse, by two of Dramon's men and dropped onto the floor. Dramon stared at him smiling.

     "Get him in the chair and ready for the injection of the drug," Dramon told his men.

     The same two men  who brought him in held him seated in a wooden chair. Patterson saw the smiling, sadistic face of Jonathan Lawrence Dramon approaching him. Dramon  squatted in front of Patterson , then he showed him a hypodermic needle.

     "Now I know you're aware of what one of these is," he said still smiling sadistically. "Because I know you've stolen heroin from my people and used it on yourself."

     He then tapped the inside of Patterson's right elbow till he found a vein. "Only this is LSD. Pleasant nightmares, Mr. Patterson."

     Patterson looked down at his arm, seeing the needle drawing closer to his skin. When he felt the prick of the needle, he let out a guttural moan that sounded like a dying animal.

     The effects of the LSD were immediate. Everything around him became distorted, surreal. He didn't even feel the two men pick him up by the arms.

     "Take him to the tank and get him ready to take his fatal plunge," Dramon told his two men.

     Patterson noticed their arms and hands were meaty globs that had no shape or form. They just seemed to hang there. He was dragged to the top of four metal steps, unable to do anything to free himself by this time.

     "I think you will find this tank to be like nothing you've ever seen before Mr. Patterson. It's called a  Sensory Deprivation Tank, and it is filled with water at body temperature. Now in a few minutes my men will be attaching wires to your head, so I can monitor your brain waves."

     Patterson's struggles to free himself were futile, as the two men had a tight grip on him.

     Dramon gave him an eerie laugh. "Very soon Mr. Patterson you will begin having horrible nightmares, like none you have had before."

     He then looked over at his men. "Lower him in."

     Dramon walked over to the window on the front of the tank, and wiped away the steam. He peered inside, then smiled and laughed as he watched Patterson's body twitching. He could only imagine what was going through his mind at the moment.

     "That's right Mr. Patterson. You're finding out for the first time in your miserable life what pain and suffering feels like. Enjoy," he said.

     Patterson began remembering things about his childhood, all the really bad things. Things he had not thought about in years. He remembered a time he and a friend went swimming in a pond, on his friend's relative's farm.

     They swam out quite a ways, too far, and Patterson began struggling to stay afloat. He started panicking and his friend had to come over, put his arm around him and help him back to shore. As he recalled this, his legs kicked his arms flung wildly about inside the tank, like he was remembering how close he came to death that day.

     He recalled another part of his life, when he and Tiffany Dramon argued over the fact she had come in on him having sex with her younger sister, Kari.

     She screamed at him. "You never listen to me Mark."

     He raised his voice to her. "I told you I love you."

     "Yeah and then I find out your fucking my sister."

     "Yeah I admit Kari and I had something at one time."

     "You never listen to me, Mark," she said. "Why won't you listen to me?

     "You keep saying that. I listen to you all the time."

     "Yeah like when I tell you Jonathan is doing nothing illegal like smuggling drugs, yet you still snoop around here like that's what he was doing."

     "Maybe this whole relationship was a bad idea Tiffany," he said.

     "You're some piece of work Mark, and to think I wanted to start a family with you."

     "You're nothing special either."

     Jolts of electricity were then sent through him. He kicked the wall with his heels of his feet, while punching it with his closed fists.

     After a few minutes Dramon told his men, "Release him, and take him out through the back door. Throw him in the alley. Let his friends find him."

From Darkness Into Light

Out of darkness and into the light

I feel sometimes I am walking along a dark path 

or down a long hallway which I know not where it will lead me

and I feel frightened by the uncertainty

but the worse part is I have no one beside me to hold

to keep me from shivering when I am in these dark places

I just keep roaming and wondering will I ever find my true love

my soulmate or am I dreaming all this?

Is this all just a dream I have been living over and over in my head

one I cannot awaken from no matter how much I try?

I'd love to believe you're out there my love-waiting for me

and someday soon we can hold one another and guide each other 

through this dark maze of uncertainty that is called life.

-MAC-

100 Th Celebration Of Blog Entries

In Celebration Of My 100th Blog Entry I'd Like To Celebrate By Shaking My Groove Thang.

Celebration Of Two Thousand Views.

Just wanted to take a moment and thank all my viewers out there, who have made this blog site what it is. I am passing the 2000 view of my blog. Gosh it seems like only yesterday I started this thing. It would be one year this June that I started. Anyway I just want to thank all of you and I will try to post more on here for you to see. Again Thank You.  XOXOXOXOXOXO

To Be Free - Poetry

                   To Be Free

To live

To fly 

To never die

Just like clouds in the sky

To never again have to grieve

To let the wind soar beneath my wings

The way they make the wind sing

To lift on high

Forever touching the sky

These are things that please me

For I would be like a plastic  bag 

The wind picked up and made dance

That would be the kind of freedom for me

Never - ever any worries

Then I wake up and find it's only a dream

To the Heavens makes me want to scream.

-MAC-

Poetry

Love Letter  # 5.1

I always wondered what love was and was I missing out 

Love it seems is always alluding me - an illusion to me

Over and over, again

Very much seemed to be playing a game with me

Every day and in every way

Day after day my heart ached for something I could not have

Teasing me - abusing me

Every chance it got

Ridiculing me 

It always seemed to fleeting this thing called love

Day and night I dreamed of her and I being together

Always together holding each other in our arms

Seeing her dark brown eyes as I stared into them with mine

Over and over we told each other how in love we were

Very much we wanted to build a life and family together

In all it all seems but a dream - one I feel I can never awaken from

Catching myself hearing her voice whispering to me in my sleep

Hearing her as though she were laying next to me in my bed. 

-MAC-

Poetry

Why Am I So Fearful

Why must I be so fearful of mistakes and rejections

I've asked myself that many times

when I should just be looking ahead

to a bright new future on the horizon 

yet I never see the silver lining in the clouds 

only the dark horizons

I seem to be doomed to make the same mistakes in life

because I never take any chances - any risks

so I wonder if I should not be so fearful of mistakes and rejections

go full bore ahead and set my sights on things to come

the good things and not the bad

to be less fearful of all things, whether it be relationships, money, or life itself

these are things I wonder. 

-MAC-

Dreams - What Do They Mean?

What are dreams?

Are they the things we wish to come true for ourselves?

Or are they merely wishful thinking?

I've noticed some dreams I wake up from and can't recall all of it

That is when I wish there was a dreamcatcher that would capture my dreams

And hold them so I could see and study them

Some of those nasty nightmares maybe I could make sense of

Like the times I am falling or feel like I'm drowning and can't breath

Yet I am unable to awaken myself 

I feel so helpless during those times like someone else is controlling me

Maybe that is it, a higher source is controlling us and we cannot do

What we think we must in our dreams

Then there are those dreams of passion, when I am in bed with the man I love

We kiss, fondle, hold each other and eventually make passionate love

I think I'm getting hard just thinking about it, so I better stop now 

Before I lose control and cum in my pants. LOL. 

-MAC-

Dreams I'm Falling

I've had this dream often that I am about to fall and even though I try my best to catch myself

before it happens I find out I cannot stop myself from falling. In my dream I am standing at the top of a canyon looking down, and all of a sudden I slip and fall right off. Other times I am standing atop a building and I'm looking down, lose my balance and start to fall off. In all these dreams no matter how hard I try to stop this from happening it still does. It's the freakiest thing ever. 

Yesteryear 1,2,3. Pt. 2

Yum

What a hunk of man flesh this is. HUBBA HUBBA !!!

Yesteryear 1,2,3. Pt.2

Monday, December 31, 2012

Poetry

My Love


Teardrop eyes - long silky black hair

Everything reminds me of you

Reminder of how everything brings back memories of our affair

In everything I say or do.
*
Destined to see where life would bring us

All at once we were driven apart

Somewhere along that crazy highway of life

Oh I will always think of you as a work of art

Very much I wonder if we were still together - would you be my wife

Is there such a possibility

Could we have not changed our futures

Had it have to be this way.

Poetry

The One I Loved


I met a woman who was the love of my life

we made each other stronger

so in love with her I wanted to make her my wife

we would never go to bed angry at one

                another

Then came the day she told me

she was giving me a son

I felt like the luckiest man under the sun

we worked hard those nine months to make ends meet

she was so ecstatic - for soon she would be a

                 mother

Then came the day our son Brandon was born

we promised ourselves to never fight - never scorn

and for the longest time I remember

we just stared in fascination at him

this little boy who made our love stronger.

Sunday, December 30, 2012

Poetry

Lost Too Young

(A Poem For Teri Dasovich)

As I stood at your grave and watched your twin sister

grieving over the loss of her beloved twin

I wonder what sort of relationship you had with her

was it happy or sad within?

I hope there were never any feelings of anger between you and her

no ill thoughts of any kind. 

You were only nineteen years old when you left this world

so tragically that day you were taken away

yet as I stare at your sister - I know we are both bereft 

at the sadness of your passing that way.

I think we all wish to remember you

how you could always make us laugh and smile

as it never came difficult of you to do

you just had that special gift Teri

and that is why I will always be in love with you.  

Poetry

Loved And Lost

We danced the dance of lovers

for in actuality

we were like no others.

yes we had our own unique personality

*

It all seemed like it would never end

at least that was the way I did see

in the end it was not us - in the end it was only me.

*

You took the wrong advice my love

from the wrong people

they were the ones that when push came to shove

they only thought inside their own church steeples. 

Friday, December 28, 2012

The Warmth Of Him

The warmth of him on a cold night

being in my arms to stop me from shivering

it's the kind of feeling I'd like to share

with the one I love

with the one who I care the most - and cherish. 

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Poetry

Crazy

Some say I'm the one who's gone crazy

others say I'm just lazy

I've got too much time on my hands

that I'm wasting my life by not meeting ends

which is it then, this I want to know

am I crazy, or am I like they say - an on the draw I am slow

it's just that listening to the world sometimes isn't right

their only means is to take away all my fight

they wish to see me beaten down

never smiling always with a frown

so I ask again,

is the world the one who's crazy, or am I really the crazy one then?

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Milestone

I'd like to take a moment to reflect on the fact that back in June of this year I started this blog. Thanks to all my viewers, I now have 1000 views. Keep viewing folks and I'll keep on publishing. Thanks, again. xoxoxo

Friday, December 21, 2012

Ho Ho Yum !!!

Now Here are two Santas I would love to see come down my chimney. Bet we could warm each other nicely on a cold night.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Visuals

I like to watch snow fall

the pretty way the wind carries the flakes to their destination

whether they land on hills, flat ground, atop mountains, or buildings or trees

it's just such a wondrous thing to see

almost magical. 

I guess it's one of the things I like about Winter the most.

Just sitting inside and staring out the window watching the snow fall. 

Gorgeous. 

Monday, December 17, 2012

Poetry

Bored

I sit here my body aching

my mind is wandering

wonder where I'm going

what to me is this life showing

that is not boring. 

*

I sometimes wonder

as I sit in silence and ponder

what is this thing called life

that keeps cutting me like a knife

I sometimes think why bother.

*

Will I be bored with life or will it be full of surprises

my life seems so meaningless

almost tedious

I sometimes don't know what is life's meaning

it feels so demeaning. 

Poetry

On The Outside Looking In

Do you know me?

Do you hate me?

Do you love me?

Do you care about me?

Do you feel bad when I do -

feel sad when I do -

cry when I cry -

shed tears of happiness and sorrow -

the way and exact times I do?

Do you laugh with me instead of at me?

How can you say that - you don't even know me.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Poetry

To Be Young, Again

Age it is said is never old

never grow up, to never grow cold

everything eventually dries up and turns to dust

it is said it is a must

life starts gradually slowing

till the heart stops eventually beating

I wonder if this must be the truth

why can't I hang onto my youth

why is it a fleeting thing

always it is parting

I would love to believe I will never grow old

is that too straightforward, is that too bold

one day I know it will be my turn

just pack me away in a shiny urn

put me on a fireplace mantel

oh the stories about me everyone will tell

will they really know of my personal hell

these are the remains of me

of  someone who once be. 

Poerty

I Sit And Ponder


If I died tonight

how would they remember me

how would they remember my life

these are just some things I ponder if I will ever see.
*
It makes my head, body ache

thinking about the cruelties of the world

and about the people have allowed things to be unfurled.
*
I don't know if there is anything I can do or say

that could possibly change my fate

to change the evils of our ways

before it is too late, or is it already too late.
*
So if you ask me why I ponder

on if I died tonight

I sometimes sit and wonder

maybe it is the reason why I ponder on who will remember me.

Friday, December 14, 2012

Poetry

Pain

Let me please die

let this be the end of my plight

and send me to Heaven

where I can soar on angels wings

not to have to worry about even

the most strilfling things in life

away from all - it cuts me like a knife

too many people try to control me

oh yes they all say we

only want for you the best

but I believe they think they are above me, better than me

bring me down - I just lay at rest

I'm too tired and weak to fight anymore

my body is aching and sore

I understand I am not in their circle

and for that I am not supposed to find happiness

I wonder if it all isn't a joke on me though

I look at them and my blood boils with anger

yes I truly believe they will be the death of me

they want me back in a mental ward

so they will never have to, again, see

a poor old wretch such as me

I slip now into the darkness and go one final time inward.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Other Side Of Me

You know oft times I've only put pictures of loving moments between two men, but I can't forget what I am, a bisexual. So I thought this was a sweet, romantic picture I happened to run across. The playful side between a man and a woman. If that were me in that picture, and it ain't, that would be how I'd look with a woman. Cheers To The Ladies. As Well As The Men.

Monday, December 10, 2012

Yum

More man flesh. In this I wanted to show some man flesh. Some of personal favorites as I called them YUMS.